Thursday, April 22, 2010

No, I mean it this time!

As you may have read, I got a new sister for Easter. We've both blogged about the experience and you can read Debi's account of the story here. Before I move on, I must say that I find it interesting that, while I compared the experience to getting a chocolate bunny in my Easter basket, she likened it to drinking too much tequila. Hmmmmm.

At our meeting, Debi presented me with a copy of  Hello, Cupcake!: Irresistibly Playful Creations Anyone Can Make. I gotta tell you, the creations in this book are adorable! After dinner we went to a local cupcakery. Yes, I said cupcakery. It's a bakery, but all they sell is cupcakes. Cute doesn't even begin to describe this place. It was all pink walls and crystal light fixtures. And the cupcakes! Oh the cupcakes! They were gorgeous! They had glitter! They were, um, not very good. I bought three of their mini-sized confections and all three failed to earn their sprinkles. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. I recently shelled out $6 for a gloriously frosted lump of dry bread. I wondered if there was some strange pastry law which states that a cupcake can be either yummy or beautiful, but not both. Then I remembered Zov's Cafe in Tustin, California. I was working in a perinatal unit of a hospital and one of our patients brought in a box of these beauties.

Not only were they gorgeous, they were insanely delicious! Dark, dense chocolate cake that screamed "I was baked from scratch using the best ingredients on the planet dammit!" They were hands down the BEST cupcakes I've ever had. Sigh....

Okay, I have a confession to make. Everything you've read up to this point has been a digression. I couldn't help myself, but I will attempt to tie it all together for you, I promise. Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, cupcakes! So I start fantasizing about having my own bakery -a cupcakery is too limiting for me- and next thing you know, I'm Googling pastry schools. I do this late at night lest anyone peek over my shoulder and realize that I'm contemplating yet another career. What can I say, I have a hard time deciding what I want to be when I grow up.  A perusal of my college transcripts and computer bookmarks reveals that in the past I have considered the following career paths:

Nurse - I liked the idea of a three-day work week and the variety of settings available. (Cruise ship nurse anyone?) The money they make isn't so bad either. Believe it or not I even looked forward to blood and guts. What can I say, I'm a little morbid that way.What I did NOT like was the idea of dealing with various other body fluids or the crankiness of the patients whose fluids I wished to avoid.

Child Care Provider - I will pause here to allow anyone who has known me for more than, say, an hour to compose themselves and stop laughing. When I saw all those Early Childhood Education courses listed on my transcript, I thought for a while that I'd accidentally logged into another person's account. Then I saw that I dropped the entire semester. Whew! Crisis averted.

Mortician - I shit you not. I actually had an entire folder of links to schools that offered classes in the mortuary sciences. I was probably drawn to the shock value or maybe I had just watched one too many episodes of CSI: Las Vegas.

English Teacher - As I write this, my major is still listed as "Single Subject English" which is to say high school English teacher. This is hysterical for the same reason Child Care Provider is hysterical. Seriously folks, for the future of humanity, do NOT expose me to young, impressionable minds. My son is lucky to have gotten through childhood without stories that begin with the phrase, "One day, in psyche ward..."

Psychologist - Yes, go ahead and laugh, but I'll have you know that I have 15 college credits in the psych department. Wait it gets better, they're all A's. Society really dodged a bullet with this one.

So there you have it. Now, back to the subject of pastry school. I've scheduled appointments at three different schools in the next few days and I have two major hurdles to overcome before I can move ahead. A) The nearest schools are in San Diego which is an hour and a half drive from here. I'd have to find housing for a few nights a week while I get through the program. B) Pastry school is hella expensive! Cross your fingers and hope that the Financial Aid Gods take one look at the Chocolate Cherry Chipotle Cupcakes I baked and decide to smile down upon me.

I shared my plans with select friends and family members and received a surprisingly supportive response. I suspect that when they say, "Pastry school! What a GREAT idea! I can TOTALLY see you doing that. Go for it!", what they really mean is, "Pastry school? Are you serious? What's it gonna be next week?"

Maybe they're right. Maybe next week I'll be researching how to get certified as a poledance instructor.


  1. Gee, pole dancer seems too dangers for you. You Tube has ten pole dance videos a day and they all end up with neck problems. How about counter girl at Ben & Jerry's.

  2. Anonymous7:06 PM

    i really think you should go to pastry school. we'll shot the people who get in your way on your road to success!

  3. haha...Mortician? that has to be one of the best things l have ever heard. I too toyed with the idea of being a nurse, so pulled all my Barbie's limbs off to try my hand at surgery. Needless to say remained a decapitated head. And i am a teacher :)